October 2022

#1 Self-Care Success Secret for You and Your Team (It’s NOT what you think)

February 14, 2024October 26, 2022 by Olga Phoenix

How many times have you tried the latest popular self-care trend, without any results? How frustrating and defeating is that? We invest time, energy, and sometimes money into self-care, only to find out, after the fact, that it actually does not work. So many people and organizations find themselves in this situation, over and over again. In this blog, I’ll share the number one reason why this happens to a majority of self-care practitioners and reveal the #1 Self-Care Success Secret for you and your team.

I’ll also introduce you to an incredible free self-care resource to actually make all of your self-care efforts successful, every time! Intrigued? Let’s begin!

The Number One reason that crushes people’s self-care efforts is not a lack of time, money, or knowledge that self-care is an essential component of any thriving and meaningful life. No!

The number one reason is an absolute lack of personalization of your self-care plan. Let me explain.

Let’s say your best friend absolutely loooves meditation, swears by it, and it’s her daily powerhouse of a self-care practice.

You, on the other hand, feel incredibly awkward just sitting there, with your mind racing, doing your weekly budget in your head, composing that work email, and getting really annoyed at your kids screaming in the background.

In short, you are dreading the whole experience, obviously really not meditating, and feeling a bit like a failure about the whole thing.

How likely are you to continue with this practice? And how likely are you to say and feel that self-care helped you to create the life you love? Not very likely, I can tell you that much.

The moral of the story is that we are not our best friend and maybe meditation is not the most helpful results-driven impactful thing for us to do right now.

By the way, on the side note, the negative experience I’m describing with meditation practice is a true story of how I personally felt about meditation.

Only after learning about different types of meditation, what works for me personally, and tricks on how to do it in an effective way, through a meditation teacher, was I able to see incredible results from the practice of meditation in my life.

It is now a powerhouse of a daily self-care practice in my life today. But shooting in the dark with it and doing what everyone else was doing without figuring out what I needed with someone who could guide me was a self-sabotaging experience for me.

In other words, jumping into a self-care practice because other people are doing it or because it’s trending on Instagram is kind of like buying herbal supplements that happen to be popular on Instagram, all before consulting with a doctor, getting blood work done, and determining what your body actually needs.

In a “good case” scenario, you simply won’t see results so you’ll stop taking the stuff. In a “worst case” scenario, you’ll get sick and require additional intervention from a specialist.

Either way, you didn’t get the result you wanted… and you’re left feeling discouraged and less likely to try again. So what do we do?

Number One Secret for Self-Care Success is self-care plan personalization. How do we this? I’m glad you asked! We need to start with honest and thorough assessment of our lives, our current needs, pains, and desires, our vision for where we are and where we want to be. The reason being that every single person on the face of this planet has different preferences, pains, priorities, goals, needs, and dreams.

Which means that every single person requires an individualized approach to self-care specifically created to address the most important aspects of their lives that really need addressing.

I cannot tell you how many times both individuals and agencies start implementing certain self-care activities just because they see these activities working in someone else’s life or someone else’s agency. And not because they found out through an assessment process that these specific activities are exactly what they need in this particular moment of their lives.

One hundred percent of the time this approach results in discouragement and in abandoning of self-care routines.

Over time, they start saying things like:” Self-care does not work for me. I always fail at it. It’s too expensive. I don’t have the time. We instituted self-care practice at our agency, but our employees never took advantage of it, so we canceled the program.” And on and on.

Assessment is a cornerstone of any effective and sustainable self-care practice. It saves us time, money, it keeps us motivated, hungry for more, and provides a sense of accomplishment because we actually are seeing results in areas that are important to us.

Why? Because we have identified our top priorities, we made a shortlist of self-care strategies we enjoy and that work for us, and we are actually working on what needs to be improved.

We have our “why” and are thus so much more motivated and likely to succeed in the long run. Makes sense?

The trick, of course, is taking this self-care needs inventory and finding that one that one activity that could work wonders for you or your team.

This is why in 2013 I created the Self-Care Wheel, a comprehensive six-dimensional wellbeing tool, featuring 88 different self-care activities to help you find the self-care strategy that you currently need. Because of its simplicity and transformational power, the Self-Care Wheel has become one of the most searched, downloaded, and media featured self-care tools in the world!

YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THIS TOOL FOR YOUR PERSONAL USE BELOW!

And now it’s your turn! You can download these tools for your personal use below and start creating your own personalized and sustainable self-care practice!

So let me tell you how exactly the Self-Care Wheel tools help you to conduct this much-needed assessment of your life to make sure your self-care plan is personalized and successful.

The Self-Care Wheel comes with two of its trusted companions, the Self-Care Wheel Assessment, and the Create-Your-Own Self-Care Wheel tools provide a wealth of new ideas and open up an engaging space for self-discovery, assessment, and reflection.

While the Self-Care Wheel provides us with a wide array of new self-care ideas, the Self-Care Wheel Assessment tool helps us to take stock and make more educated and intentional choices about what our self-care plan and routine should really look like.

It starts the process by looking at 6 major dimensions of our lives: physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, personal, and professional and gives us an opportunity to see where we are doing well and which areas of our lives require the most attention. This provides us with an amazing opportunity to focus on what’s most important.

This saves us a tremendous amount of time and effort and keeps us motivated to make much-needed changes. Because now we have indisputable proof that some things really are not working in our lives and we cannot ignore it anymore.

On the other hand, we also can see very clearly which areas or dimensions of our lives are definitely going well. Oftentimes, there is a theme or a trend or a pattern or certain activity we engage in that make us feel satisfied in a particular dimension and we can learn from that and draw on these experiences to help us boost satisfaction in dimensions that are not going so well. We can then gather all these findings and put it on our brand new Create-Your-Own Self-Care Wheel tool:

The direct result of our assessment process will be a personalized, sustainable, and results-rich self-care plan.

You can download these tools for your personal use below and start creating your own personalized and sustainable self-care practice!

Well, there you have it! So far in this blog, I covered the #1 Self-Care Plan Secret for you and your team and introduced you to the Self-Care Wheel tools.

If you want to learn more about 3 major self-care myths that keep us stuck and small changes that we can make to create a sustainable, results-rich self-care practice that will inevitably lead to a more peaceful, balanced, healthy, and meaningful life make sure to watch this next video below. So thank you so much for reading and I’ll see you in the next one!

PS. Let’s be social! Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn for more self-love and self-care tips, inspiration, and tools! Looking forward to connecting with you! Go forth, do incredible things, and self-care! In deep gratitude for all you are, Olga

About the author:

Olga Phoenix, MPA, MA is the world’s leading self-care, resilience, and vicarious trauma prevention expert, speaker, trainer, and best-selling author. Featured widely in media outlets such as Women’s Health, Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, Popsugar, and Positive Psychology, she has been inspiring organizations and individuals to grow and thrive

3 Biggest Self-Care Myths That Keep Us Stuck (And What to Do Instead)

October 26, 2022October 26, 2022 by Olga Phoenix

Many of us are acutely aware that a sustainable self-care practice has the power to dramatically transform our lives! So let’s address the elephant in the room: Why don’t more people take advantage of this amazing practice? And why it seems so many of us spend more time off the self-care wagon than riding high and strong and well on top of it? In this blog, I’ll break down the 3 biggest self-care myths that stand between us and flourishing results-rich self-care practice and what we can do instead.

Over the past 20 years, an incredible amount of research has been done on amazing benefits of self-care according to science.

A sustainable self-care practice banishes stress, anxiety, and prevents burnout. it improves our wellbeing, energy, mood, and our sense of self-worth. It makes us strong and resilient.

It nurtures our relationship with ourselves and others, and gives us more time to do the things we enjoy. In short, an effective self-care practice has the power to radically transform our lives!

Yet a large majority of people really struggle at creating and sustaining an effective self-care routine and thus never get to experience its life-changing results.

What stands between us and a more meaningful, joyful, balanced, and happy life are 3 enormous misconceptions about what truly effective self-care really is.

SELF-CARE MYTH #1: MISCONCEPTION ABOUT WHAT IS TRULY EFFECTIVE SELF-CARE

Myth Number One is the pervasive, media-enforced misconception that the “treat-yourself”, “one size fits all” self-care model actually works.

The direct results of this damaging misconception are the beliefs that self-care is expensive, takes too much time, is selfish, and most of all, a complete waste of time, because it simply does not work.

Unfortunately, most people struggle with not only creating an effective and sustainable a self-care routine, but with even coming up with any type of self-care ideas beyond massages and bubble baths.

And who can blame them, since physical or ‘treat-yo-self” self-care has been the most talked about self-care model in the media for as long as I can remember!

When I first started researching and practicing self-care 15 years ago, because trust me, I really, really needed it, that’s the first thing that came to my mind and that’s what I was trying to do!

Getting more and more self-critical, frustrated, and hopeless because of lack of results.

This is exactly what happens when the media tells us that “treat-your-self”, physical model of self-care can solve overwhelm, burnout, and help us create the life we love.The lack of results is devastating. We think: “Something is wrong with me. Why doesn’t it work for me? I guess I’ll just stop trying. Might as well, I have so much to do and people to take care of, wasting my time on self-care is simply self-indulgent under the circumstances.”

The inner critic and shame rear their ugly heads as we fall off self-care wagon once again. Once those negative voices take over, it can be hard to get back to the self-care routine.

And why would we if we don’t believe it work for us.

If you like have similar experiences, I want to take the responsibility for those past attempts off your shoulders. In many ways, you didn’t even have a fighting chance!

Why? Because along with other myths I’ll discuss in a second, we, as women been bombarded with constant cultural messages that go in direct opposition to taking care of ourselves.

From the time we’re young, most of us are taught to put others’ needs first. We’re socialized to take care of others, and we if don’t it makes us selfish and self-indulgent… right?

Or what about the enormous focus of our society on productivity and busyness above all else, resulting in unsustainable work schedules, feelings of being stretched thin, and burnout.

These are powerful, generations deep societal messages that keep us running through life, exhausted, overwhelmed, forever focused on everybody except ourselves.

However, only when we are focused inwardly, learning about our needs, pains, desires, and goals, slowly getting to know and building relationships with ourselves can we have a chance to live a better, more fulfilled and meaningful life.

If you’ve unsuccessfully tried to establish self-care practice in the past, remember that you weren’t just struggling against your own habits. Instead, you were struggling against societal forces that you’ve been immersed in all your life. That’s a lot to overcome! Let go of guilt over past attempts. Because here in this blog we learn the truth of matter and a completely new approach to taking care of ourselves. Sounds exciting right??

Now let’s address the myth that self-care takes too much time.

SELF-CARE MYTH #2: SELF-CARE TAKES TOO MUCH TIME

People have a perception that in order to be effective, the self-care practice has to involve hours and hours per week or possibly involve lots of different variables.

This is completely understandable, because even if we have a solid understanding of what self-care is and believe in effectiveness of multi-dimensional model of self-care, which includes physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, personal, and professional areas of our lives, it’s only logical to think that we would need a different self-care activity or better yet, activities to nurture each one of these six dimensions.

And I am here to tell you it’s absolutely not the case!

A solid effective self-care practice does not have to include tons of things. In fact, it could include only one activity that works wonders for you, that you absolutely love, have time for, and thoroughly enjoy being a part of your life! How could this be true, you ask?

Let me give you a very simple example, taken straight out of my personal life. I really really love nature.

So much so that nature in all it’s wonderful and beautiful variations is all over my personalized and sustainable self-care plan. Maybe it has something to do with growing up in a pile of snow in Siberia, Russia where winter and no sun rained for 9 months out of the year, but I am absolutely hooked on green trees, beaches, lakes, springs, parks, nature preserves…you get the idea.

This is why I live in year-round very green and very hot Florida, United States, where I can enjoy and practice a multitude of sunny outdoors self-care activities 365 days a year.

And in fact, living in Florida is a part of my self-care plan and strong commitment to myself and my wellbeing. Every Friday when I’m in town, my best friend and I walk in this beautiful nature preserve.

Here is how this 1 hour per week is an absolute dynamo of a self-care practice in my life because it actually fosters all of the six self-care dimensions.

Physical, because we are powerwalking and it feels great; psychological, because my best friend is an incredible support; emotional, because it bonds us as friends and nurtures our relationship; spiritual, because this nature preserve and all its lakes, palm trees, gators, turtles, and birds remind me how wonderfully beautiful and amazing this universe is; personal because we talk about goals and dreams; and professional-because she is often my first focus group on my new work ideas and projects.

This means that one activity could nurture multiple dimensions of our lives all at the same time, becoming a powerhouse of a self-care strategy, saving us an astounding amount of time, money, and energy resources, and helping us feel balanced, peaceful, engaged in life, nurturing relationships, creating purpose, and being something we really look forward to- thus contributing to your resilience and wellbeing building, which in turn allows you time, energy, and emotional resources to engage in life to the fullest and create the life you love!

The trick, of course, is finding that one that one activity that could work wonders for you.

This is why in 2013 I created the Self-Care Wheel, a comprehensive six-dimensional wellbeing tool, featuring 88 different self-care activities to help you find a powerhouse of a self-care strategy.

The Self-Care Wheel and its two trusted companions, the Self-Care Wheel Assessment,

and the Create-Your-Own Self-Care Wheel tools

provide a wealth of new ideas and open up an engaging space for self-discovery, evaluation, and reflection.

They help us identify our strengths, challenges, priorities, and goals-effectively narrowing down our focus to areas of our lives that require the most attention.

This eye-opening process provides inspiration, clarity, and motivation-resulting in an educated, intentional, sustainable, and personalized self-care practice and as a direct result a happier and healthier life!

Because of its simplicity and transformational power, this dynamic Self-Care Wheel trio has become one of the most searched, downloaded, and media featured self-care tools in the world!

By now hundreds of thousands of people around the world have experienced the power of these simple tools. And now it’s your turn!

You can download these tools for your personal use on the Self-Care Wheel page and start creating your own personalized and sustainable self-care practice!

And now we come to the next myth on our list- Self-Care Takes Too Much Money.

SELF-CARE MYTH #3: SELF-CARE TAKES TOO MUCH MONEY

This myth that self-care is expensive comes straight out of misunderstandings about what self-care really is.

It’s easy to understand why: treat-your-self self-care model requires spa visits, shopping sprees, luxury vacations, and the like.

For most people these luxuries are, of course, financially out of reach.

I remember a young woman in one of my self-care workshops who wanted to learn but was very reluctant to believe that it will work for her.

She said: “People on Instagram buy Himalayan salt bathtubs for thousands of dollars for self-care. I make 37000 per year and have two kids. How can it possibly work for me?”

Honestly, it kind of broke my heart because right then I fully realized how many millions of women think the same thus completely dismiss solutions that could do wonders for them and their families because of the widespread misinformation we read everyday online.

I was so grateful to this young woman for not only being brave and sharing her truth with me, but also for coming to my workshop and seeking solutions even though she had little hope it would work for her.

She also helped me to become so much more determined to get my message out to the world.

In reality, self-care doesn’t have to cost a lot. In fact, self-care doesn’t have to cost a thing.

It’s not about the vacation or the new shoes. It’s about making an ongoing commitment to taking good care of ourselves, however it looks like in this particular stage of our lives.

Shutting down the Netflix train a little earlier to get one more hour of sleep. Not looking at social media or news fist thing in the morning to prevent negative emotions such sadness about the state of the world or comparing your life to other people’s photoshopped version of reality.

Choosing to reduce burnout and overwhelm by practicing work boundaries and not checking work email after 8 pm.

Reaching out to a friend and just saying hello when feeling lonely or needing support.

None of these examples involve a fancy yoga studio or gym membership.

The focus here is on setting priorities and boundaries. It’s all about small lifestyle changes that give you a chance to recharge and refuel so we can be fully present and engaged with your life.

None of this has to cost a cent.

This life is within reach your reach. It starts with the 1st step towards yourself, your wellbeing, your happiness. Start today. To have most of these activities in one spot, don’t forget to download the Self-Care Wheel handout below. Don’t wait another minute to get to know and to choose YOU!

PS. Please leave me a comment below what were your favorite self-care activities and examples from this list? And how do you foster self-care in your life? Can’t wait to hear from you!

PSS. Let’s be social! Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn for more self-love and self-care tips, inspiration, and tools! Looking forward to connecting with you! Go forth, do incredible things, and self-care! In deep gratitude for all you are, Olga

About the author:

Olga Phoenix, MPA, MA is the world’s leading self-care, resilience, and vicarious trauma prevention expert, speaker, trainer, and best-selling author. Featured widely in media outlets such as Women’s Health, Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, Popsugar, and Positive Psychology, she has been inspiring organizations and individuals to grow and thrive.

Burnout? Me Too. This is What I Did!

March 11, 2024October 13, 2022 by Olga Phoenix

Every week I attend a women’s support group… The conversations are raw, the solutions are powerful, and the coffee is great. A win/win/win. My dream scenario.

This year, we talked a lot about the feelings of burnout. Not only that, but feeling very anxious, overwhelmed, empty, and somewhat (or maybe very) unhappy.

One woman said: “What is happiness anyway? How does it even feel? I don’t remember the last time I felt really happy. On paper, everything is great: I do everything right, I have commitments, I lead at work, I take great care of my family. Is it because I’m not doing enough? The only time I experience little glimpses of giddiness is when I’m buying new shoes, purses, cosmetics. The thing is, I hardly use these things and they just sit in my closet, while I run around in my sweatpants, burned out to a crisp….What do I need to do to feel better? Is something wrong with me?!”

I listened and could so relate….

On paper, my life looked great as well. But when I finally reached all of my goals I’ve been striving so hard for, I was taken to the emergency room with symptoms of a heart attack. There in my hospital room, surrounded by a concerned medical team I was terrified, shocked, and in disbelief at the realization that if I were to die that day, I would have an incredible number of regrets.

What was shocking is that I accomplished literally everything I planned, I did everything that society expected me to do and was considered a success (on paper), and here I laid with 101 regrets, looking over my life, and thinking how I wasted it on board meetings, promotions, airports, and hotel takeouts-always running, always serving, always achieving. Exhausted, anxious, overwhelmed, depressed, and burnt out…..

Although it happened over 15 years ago now, and obviously, I’m still here… that feeling of shock and sadness over my burnout life I felt back then is still pretty fresh in my mind.

What I realized after that incident is that a lot of us women were never allowed to just BE. Our worth was always based on productivity, overproduction, busyness, overperformance, service to others, putting ourselves last, sweetness, cuteness, and overachievement. And the expectation was that all of this would be performed with perfection. When we underperformed, which was always (because we could never be perfect) we felt like a failure and it hurt.

Really bad.

So we went through life, exhausted, burnt out, depressed, and anxious from bombing this life thing every day, just never reaching that perfection mark.

And the only solution we knew to feel a little better was a stop at the mall for a new pair of shoes or that cute purse or that new lipstick called Firestarter which we bought for its name. We wanted to be the Firestarter in life, and we never were.

Because carpools, PTA meetings, volunteering, driving elderly parents to appointments, cooking meals for 6 people for a week, and demanding work with a very demanding boss is exhausting. We could not be a Firestarter and we knew it. So, we put that lipstick in the drawer, along with all the makeup, perfumes, jewelry, and everything else we bought to make us feel better and give us just a glimpse of the happiness everybody is talking about.

And we failed, yet again, as always. We weren’t perfect….

Thankfully, after that hospital incident 15 years ago I finally started to slowly change my ways through lots of support and guidance from trusted guides (think therapy, research, lots of self-help books and support groups!):

I decided to take care and treat myself a little better, and learn how to be my own friend.
I learned some boundaries, and some positive coping skills, I abandoned my (really) bad habits, and started nurturing relationships in my life.
I tried numerous hobbies, went on adventures, and discovered what brings me joy and peace.
I accepted that outside people, places, and things cannot bring me happiness and peace… (I know, shocking! And a total bomber!)
I discovered that NOBODY is coming to save me, and it was REALLY up to ME to CHOOSE ME. AND HELP ME. Because, I discovered ME really really needed ME. In fact, ME was crying for ME. And I was looking EVERYWHERE else but ME to feel better …and ME was forever disappointed, exhausted, addicted, striving, overachieving, self-hating, and mainly, still burnt out and very unhappy!

I can tell you this was an incredibly long road. I learned a lot and as you know, I made it my purpose to share my message with the world, and it’s been my career to teach people how to take themselves better and how to live a full, healthy, and meaningful life.

Through the past 15 years of self-care, resilience, and wellbeing trainings, workshops, meetings, and support groups I met hundreds of thousands of people around the world and I KNOW that I was NOT alone in feeling forever exhausted, addicted, striving, overachieving, self-neglectful, burntout and very unhappy!

If you are reading this, my friend, I would venture to say you can relate. And I’m here to tell you, there is a solution!

Many, many years ago, when I sat crying on a therapist’s couch, unable to come up with even one thing I can do to self-care or show me a little self-love, my therapist said: “It’s okay, we can start together, with one little act of self-kindness at a time, one step at a time, and overtime, you’ll see your life unfold with grace, freedom, and love.” And I can tell you, it did.

And I would like to invite you, my friend, to show yourself a little self-love and self-care this week. Just a little. One thing at a time, one step at a time. And overtime, your life will unfold and surprise you in more ways than one!

And in case you need some ideas as to how exactly to do this, I invite you to check out and download the Self-Care Wheel tool I created in 2013 as a result of my long, very long journey of getting on my own team, having my own back, and learning how to take care of myself a little better. There are 88 self-care ideas on this wheel and you can choose just one.

See if this activity and this act of self-kindness can kickstart your journey out of burnout and to living, feeling, and being WELL. I can not wait to hear from you about the results! 🙂

If you’d like to have additional resources and tools on this journey, please check out the Ultimate Self-Care Starter Kit– an in-depth resource to create a flourishing and results-rich self-care practice, and as a direct result, a healthy, happy, and meaningful life you love.

PS. If you have a friend, a colleague, or a family member who could use some loving care in their lives, please share this email or the resources itself with them and brighten their day. Just a little. We all need this right now, so so much.

About the author:

Olga Phoenix, MPA, MA is the world’s leading self-care, resilience, and prevention expert, speaker, trainer, and best-selling author. Featured widely in media outlets such as Women’s Health, Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, Popsugar, and Positive Psychology. She is the creator of the Self-Care and the Resilience Wheels–some of the most searched, downloaded, and media-featured wellbeing tools worldwide. For the past 15 years her keynotes, trainings, consulting programs, the online academy, and books have been empowering and inspiring individuals and organizations to grow and thrive. she has been inspiring organizations and individuals to grow and thrive. If you’d like to connect with Olga on social media please reach out on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.