3 Biggest Self-Care Myths That Keep Us Stuck (And What to Do Instead)

Many of us are acutely aware that a sustainable self-care practice has the power to dramatically transform our lives! So let’s address the elephant in the room: Why don’t more people take advantage of this amazing practice? And why it seems so many of us spend more time off the self-care wagon than riding high and strong and well on top of it? In this blog,  I’ll break down the 3 biggest self-care myths that stand between us and flourishing results-rich self-care practice and what we can do instead. 

Over the past 20 years, an incredible amount of research has been done on amazing benefits of self-care according to science.

A sustainable self-care practice banishes stress, anxiety, and prevents burnout.  it improves our wellbeing, energy, mood, and our sense of self-worth. It makes us strong and resilient.

It nurtures our relationship with ourselves and others, and gives us more time to do the things we enjoy. In short, an effective self-care practice has the power to radically transform our lives!

Yet a large majority of people really struggle at creating and sustaining an effective self-care routine and thus never get to experience its life-changing results.

What stands between us and a more meaningful, joyful, balanced, and happy life are 3 enormous misconceptions about what truly effective self-care really is.

SELF-CARE MYTH #1: MISCONCEPTION ABOUT WHAT IS TRULY EFFECTIVE SELF-CARE 

Myth Number One is the pervasive, media-enforced misconception that the “treat-yourself”, “one size fits all” self-care model actually works.

The direct results of this damaging misconception are the beliefs that self-care is expensive, takes too much time, is selfish, and most of all, a complete waste of time, because it simply does not work.

Unfortunately, most people struggle with not only creating an effective and sustainable a self-care routine, but with even coming up with any type of self-care ideas beyond massages and bubble baths.

And who can blame them, since physical or ‘treat-yo-self” self-care has been the most talked about self-care model in the media for as long as I can remember!

When I first started researching and practicing self-care 15 years ago, because trust me, I really, really needed it, that’s the first thing that came to my mind and that’s what I was trying to do!

Getting more and more self-critical, frustrated, and hopeless because of lack of results.

This is exactly what happens when the media tells us that “treat-your-self”, physical model of self-care can solve overwhelm, burnout, and help us create the life we love.The lack of results is devastating. We think: “Something is wrong with me. Why doesn’t it work for me? I guess I’ll just stop trying. Might as well, I have so much to do and people to take care of, wasting my time on self-care is simply self-indulgent under the circumstances.”

The inner critic and shame rear their ugly heads as we fall off self-care wagon once again.  Once those negative voices take over, it can be hard to get back to the self-care routine.

And why would we if we don’t believe it work for us.

If you like have similar experiences, I want to take the responsibility for those past attempts off your shoulders. In many ways, you didn’t even have a fighting chance!

Why? Because along with other myths I’ll discuss in a second, we, as women been bombarded with constant cultural messages that go in direct opposition to taking care of ourselves.

From the time we’re young, most of us are taught to put others’ needs first. We’re socialized to take care of others, and we if don’t it makes us selfish and self-indulgent… right?

Or what about the enormous focus of our society on productivity and busyness above all else, resulting in unsustainable work schedules, feelings of being stretched thin, and burnout.

These are powerful, generations deep societal messages that keep us running through life, exhausted, overwhelmed, forever focused on everybody except ourselves.

However, only when we are focused inwardly, learning about our needs, pains, desires, and goals, slowly getting to know and building relationships with ourselves can we have a chance to live a better, more fulfilled and meaningful life.

If you’ve unsuccessfully tried to establish self-care practice in the past, remember that you weren’t just struggling against your own habits. Instead, you were struggling against societal forces that you’ve been immersed in all your life. That’s a lot to overcome! Let go of guilt over past attempts. Because here in this blog we learn the truth of matter and a completely new approach to taking care of ourselves. Sounds exciting right??

Now let’s address the myth that self-care takes too much time.

SELF-CARE MYTH #2: SELF-CARE TAKES TOO MUCH TIME

People have a perception that in order to be effective, the self-care practice has to involve hours and hours per week or possibly involve lots of different variables.

This is completely understandable, because even if we have a solid understanding of what self-care is and believe in effectiveness of multi-dimensional model of self-care, which includes physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, personal, and professional areas of our lives, it’s only logical to think that we would need a different self-care activity or better yet, activities to nurture each one of these six dimensions.

And I am here to tell you it’s absolutely not the case!

A solid effective self-care practice does not have to include tons of things. In fact, it could include only one activity that works wonders for you, that you absolutely love, have time for, and thoroughly enjoy being a part of your life! How could this be true, you ask?

Let me give you a very simple example, taken straight out of my personal life. I really really love nature.

So much so that nature in all it’s wonderful and beautiful variations is all over my personalized and sustainable self-care plan. Maybe it has something to do with growing up in a pile of snow in Siberia, Russia where winter and no sun rained for 9 months out of the year, but I am absolutely hooked on green trees, beaches, lakes, springs, parks, nature preserves…you get the idea.

This is why I live in year-round very green and very hot Florida, United States, where I can enjoy and practice a multitude of sunny outdoors self-care activities 365 days a year.

And in fact, living in Florida is a part of my self-care plan and strong commitment to myself and my wellbeing. Every Friday when I’m in town, my best friend and I walk in this beautiful nature preserve.

Here is how this 1 hour per week is an absolute dynamo of a self-care practice in my life because it actually fosters all of the six self-care dimensions. 

Physical, because we are powerwalking and it feels great; psychological, because my best friend is an incredible support; emotional, because it bonds us as friends and nurtures our relationship; spiritual, because this nature preserve and all its lakes, palm trees, gators, turtles, and birds remind me how wonderfully beautiful and amazing this universe is; personal because we talk about goals and dreams; and professional-because she is often my first focus group on my new work ideas and projects.

This means that one activity could nurture multiple dimensions of our lives all at the same time, becoming a powerhouse of a self-care strategy, saving us an astounding amount of time, money, and energy resources, and helping us feel balanced, peaceful, engaged in life, nurturing relationships, creating purpose, and being something we really look forward to- thus contributing to your resilience and wellbeing building, which in turn allows you time, energy, and emotional resources to engage in life to the fullest and create the life you love!

The trick, of course, is finding that one that one activity that could work wonders for you.

This is why in 2013 I created the Self-Care Wheel, a comprehensive six-dimensional wellbeing tool, featuring 88 different self-care activities to help you find a powerhouse of a self-care strategy.

The Self-Care Wheel and its two trusted companions, the Self-Care Wheel Assessment, 

and the Create-Your-Own Self-Care Wheel tools

provide a wealth of new ideas and open up an engaging space for self-discovery, evaluation, and reflection.

They help us identify our strengths, challenges, priorities, and goals-effectively narrowing down our focus to areas of our lives that require the most attention.

This eye-opening process provides inspiration, clarity, and motivation-resulting in an educated, intentional, sustainable, and personalized self-care practice and as a direct result a happier and healthier life!

Because of its simplicity and transformational power, this dynamic Self-Care Wheel trio has become one of the most searched, downloaded, and media featured self-care tools in the world!

By now hundreds of thousands of people around the world have experienced the power of these simple tools. And now it’s your turn!

You can download these tools for your personal use on the Self-Care Wheel page and start creating your own personalized and sustainable self-care practice!

And now we come to the next myth on our list- Self-Care Takes Too Much Money.

SELF-CARE MYTH #3: SELF-CARE TAKES TOO MUCH MONEY 

This myth that self-care is expensive comes straight out of misunderstandings about what self-care really is.

It’s easy to understand why: treat-your-self self-care model requires spa visits, shopping sprees, luxury vacations, and the like.

For most people these luxuries are, of course, financially out of reach.

I remember a young woman in one of my self-care workshops who wanted to learn but was very reluctant to believe that it will work for her.

She said: “People on Instagram buy Himalayan salt bathtubs for thousands of dollars for self-care. I make 37000 per year and have two kids. How can it possibly work for me?”

Honestly, it kind of broke my heart because right then I fully realized how many millions of women think the same thus completely dismiss solutions that could do wonders for them and their families because of the widespread misinformation we read everyday online.

I was so grateful to this young woman for not only being brave and sharing her truth with me, but also for coming to my workshop and seeking solutions even though she had little hope it would work for her. 

She also helped me to become so much more determined to get my message out to the world.

In reality, self-care doesn’t have to cost a lot. In fact, self-care doesn’t have to cost a thing.

It’s not about the vacation or the new shoes. It’s about making an ongoing commitment to taking good care of ourselves, however it looks like in this particular stage of our lives.

Shutting down the Netflix train a little earlier to get one more hour of sleep. Not looking at social media or news fist thing in the morning to prevent negative emotions such sadness about the state of the world or comparing your life to other people’s photoshopped version of reality.

Choosing to reduce burnout and overwhelm by practicing work boundaries and not checking work email after 8 pm.

Reaching out to a friend and just saying hello when feeling lonely or needing support.

None of these examples involve a fancy yoga studio or gym membership.

The focus here is on setting priorities and boundaries. It’s all about small lifestyle changes that give you a chance to recharge and refuel so we can be fully present and engaged with your life.

None of this has to cost a cent.